I lament my ethnic homelessness, having lost, as a refugee, my Hungarian cultural heritage and social space. But the truth is, we have all become adrift as the consequence of our evolutionary path. We have lost our moorings in the land, in blood and in history; ours is a movable identity based on…. On what? The rush to discover our ancestry is akin to the cry for help as we try to define ourselves in ‘meaningful’ ways. Our survival now seldom depends on physical power, on kinship (oh yes, it does) – our alliances are forged in the cauldrons of social groups, religious identities (?), the people we play games with online???
Yesterday’s football extravaganza seemed to me much like a worship ceremony, a sort of “if you’re American, you MUST LOVE THIS” – I felt emotionally threatened based on my expectation of rejection and ridicule… “You can’t play if you’re…. Not a boy”??? You’re not one of us (so we’ll be mean or snotty to you) if you don’t know about this – it’s OUR conversation… It’s not just the game being played, it’s the games we’re playing… socially and emotionally… For a moment at least, yesterday, it felt like a test of identity – and I had failed, again…
And so, we are all homeless emotionally and the choices we make to substitute for the natural adaptations and rules for relating are too many; a chaotic mess unless they are constrained by boundaries. We create those boundaries from what is offered. When we move too often to feel at home, when we lose touch with family, when we can’t figure out loyalties based on these ‘natural factors’, then we find cheap replacements: like seafood eaters anonymous, or former veterans of a war who have a skin condition, people who hate the electric company for those god-awful prices… Our replacements for what used to be throughout most of history THE way of bonding and relating – don’t have enough meaning, are often just crazy ideas, and may be dangerous to our common survival… WHAT WILL IT TAKE for most of us to wake up to the Christ within as they say… to compassionate wisdom…the one that will help us “take another look” at who we are and who we want to become…I think all those upticks in homelessness, and suicides, and economic slides reflect how the many new freedoms we acquired with technological, medical, and other improvements over the very recent past have left most of us with too many choices and not enough options – and mostly a loss of “belonging” except as expressed through among other items: football team loyalties, fanatical religious loyalties, and political excesses. We all resemble more the faces of recent immigrants from war-torn areas of the world: dazed yet vaguely angry, feeling loss and lost, compensating with self-abuse in addictive and other anti-social behaviors… but it’s always just the usual meaningless “Have a great day”…. And “How are you” we say, isn’t it.
The REAL question is how much of this can be attributed to valid understanding of what is versus a projection of my inner psyche and needs… as they now say LOL!